Jun 30, 2009

smiles...=')

It's been umpteen days, since I lost someone very special to me... Someone, whom I can't seem to let go.. though we're still going out, but as normal friends.. it makes me happy enough to know she's just right there by my side all the time... only thing is that there's a boundary between us.. it's just an extra word to add into "friend"...and everything will be totally different.

Those memories we had together... starts to swirl around my head, and things we've been through together isn't easy to erase. Though it's a short period, but the times we spent together, seems like it lasted than we are together.. Cherishing every moments together, forgive and to forget, to love and to comfort.. sadness, that needs to be cheered.. loneliness that needs to be cuddled..

Somehow.. i wish for her happiness, but on the other hand, i wish i could be selfish.. but I can't, seeing her now, with a cheerful face all the time, how could I take away all that?... It hurts a lot to let go something which really meant the world to you..
I still love her, whole heartedly..

Jun 22, 2009

Hardest part in life..

Through out these months we've been together,
Tons of arguments, yet loads of memories,
Gallons of tears, and countless times of joy,
Through sickness, and healthy times,
Cherishing every moment together,
and it all ended with a full stop.
Everyone says just forget it and move on,
I've been tryin to input that phrase into me,
countless times I tried, yet it isn't easy,
Yet i still cherish everything bout her,
I grew to love her imperfections and all..
and I've never once ever thought of leaving her.

The hardest part in life, is to let go someone you really love so badly...
and to give them the happiness they wanted.
i don't know how to describe this feeling,
how much I really cherish this relationship,
seems to me the harder I try, the more it seems to go away..
Smiling, is only a face,
to let people know that you're happy,
but it's not easy to smile, when tears always fills your eyes when you smile..



It's hard to forget bout someone you loved so much.


and I'm still trying....I still love you...

Jun 14, 2009

General Anxiety Disorder..

After so long, i realized that I've been diagnose with such a disorder..
General Anxiety Disorder (G.A.D.)
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is an anxiety disorder that is characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry. This excessive worry often interferes with daily functioning, as individuals suffering GAD typically catastrophise, anticipate disaster, and are overly concerned about everyday matters such as health issues, money, death, family problems, friend problems or work difficulties.[1] They often exhibit a variety of physical symptoms, including fatigue, fidgeting, headaches, nausea, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, bouts of difficulty breathing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, insomnia, hot flashes, and rashes. These symptoms must be consistent and on-going, persisting at least 6 months, for a formal diagnosis of GAD to be introduced. [1] Approximately 6.8 million American adults experience GAD.

So... yeah, i have partially those symptoms, now that explains the rashes on my body, the trembling and the excessive sweats.... Can i be cure?...

May 23, 2009

Updates...

It's been almost 2 months since our finals... still remember the days we rushed like crazy just to do our finals... printing, staying ups, rendering, falling asleep on sofas, coffees... Well, college life is over for me now, come to think of it, time flies very fast.. is the Earth rotating even faster?.. i wonder.."/
Kinda miss those days when we're back in college.. In this past 2 months, i only met few of my college friends.. and my old collegues too.. although we only get to meet for a short while, but it's worth it.. hopefully one day we'all put asides our work, stress, and any other thing just to meet up...
Well, what's wrong with just meeting up and have fun? A food gathering?...outings? a day trip?...
Hope to get a plan soon...

anyways, me and my dear has reached 8months..^^ Days been getting better, and things are getting brighter... hope things won't be as it use to be.. and just be happy always..^^..
(4 more months till 1 year.. dear,! we can make it..)...hahahaha

Currently, been workin for my dad... i wanted to work outside, but then my dad have other plans.. cause he wants me to take over the business.. Inputing company's data into me.... Things aren't as difficult as it seems at 1st, but seems like it's not as easy as it is... Now i know what it feels like workin as my dad.. But i kinda get on to it.....hehe..
OH! in 2 days time, my 1st so-call job-cum-project.... Goin to Langkawi to do a set, for a liquor ad... can't reveal what ad issit..=P wait till i come back i'll let y'all know...

So, that's bout it.. my latest updates on the past 2 months, pictures will be uploaded soon...
Due to some lil boy my mom finds just to fix her laptop, instead on fuckin up my P1, my internet is currently suckie...=.=" damn you boi~
P/S: anyone who's a computer expert mind pm-ing me?... or anyone knows one.. a good one.. cause i tired with this stupid connections....argh~~

Apr 4, 2009

When you tell me that you love me

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does

Diana:
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you (Mark: world without you)
I would always hunger (Mark: I will always hunger)
All I need is your love

...to make me stronger

and baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me


When you tell me that you love me

Feb 18, 2009

Goodbye 2008 welcome 2009....

Well, well.... it's been long since i last blogged... =P and the last blog i left empty, cause i couldn't post any pictures up during my HK trip... and i got kinda pissed at it.. and just bored of blogging..XD

Anyways, recently developed insomnia, sleeping disorder...~__~.. tried rolling in bed, reading novel, youtube-ing, facebook-ing, exercising, hearing musics, counting countless sheeps, playing games, drink milk,.. what else?... and it gets worst day by day.... so any suggestions?..do drop me comments yea?

well, back to the topic... rather than me just telling you what i've done throughout 2008.. here's some pictures..=P


My 1st working experience... Internship, at Designedge..







Gotten into a great relationship... and getting better...





2 new "daughters" Chanel & Walnut..

Been To HK.....


Well, there's much more to it... Can't post that much right now.. due to stupid streamyx...
Superb slow connection and freaking disconnected every now and then...

Anyways, here comes 2009!!


My brother's 21st birthday.. Sureen Raj..Awesome party...



Walnut grown up... a little...



Shirley got stress of assignments.. same goes as all of us....




With new born baby bear, Macaroni~~14/02/09

My girl's new hairdo, Sweet, pretty, and Ichiban~~ Japan!!=P
Got to celebrate my 1st valentines....


Flasher runs around flashing in 1Utama...

Well, like i said, there's more to it.. Between me and those photos, some internet connection thingy is the distraction...

There's all for now, I'm goin to bed nowz...
Will be updating more soon....hopefully i can...Kinda rushing for assignments these days, plus extra works from my dad...
nitez...

Dec 14, 2008

you've been tagged...

"How-to" Letter Meme

RULEs: Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.
How you do the Letter Meme:
Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - ManO.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - HighHouse - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - MongolicIdol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B -C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
===============================================================

Dear BRYAN
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me Under the bus and I saw you Ignore My avocado plant. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep Your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I Am better off without Senility.

With ease,
Marcus

===============================================================

tagging:
1. Bryan
2. Khairol
3. Stephanie
4. Shirley
5. Alene